As a child, people would ask me what I wanted to do when I grow up. My answer was always the same, "I'm going to save the world". The response was also always the same idea, "Good for you", "How mature of you", "Such a noble cause", "I'm so proud of you".
Then, around the age of 17, the responses began to change. They went from being proud to giving me the "You'll grow out of it", "You can't make a difference in the world" and they're faces would give off the 'she's delusional' attitude.
I didn't care what they thought; I knew that I was going to save the world. Then one day in college, I read a quote, which I couldn't tell you if my life depended on it but generally stated that it wasn't the grand ambitions of saving the whole world that made a difference, but the small actions of helping the world around you (i.e. ripple makes a wave). I took that statement to heart.
My goal never changed. I want to make this world a better place, and I am willing to dedicate my life to this cause. What did change was my way of achieving my goal. I know that I can't get rid of nukes, stop global warming, end starvation, terrorism, hate, etc, single handedly. What I do know is that I can help to make the world around me, my little world, a better place. I also know that my actions, in effect, will make a difference in ways that I will probably never know, nor do I really care to.
I have spent my entire life trying to help in any way possible, whether with a single person, school, city state, or country. To some of my actions I have seen the fruit, to others, I haven't (not to say there wasn't, I just didn't see it). If I had listened to the overt and underlying messages of just about every person I spoke with, if I had taken them seriously, I don't know what the world I live in would be like today. What I do know is that I would be a lot less happy…and a lot more like the way that society attempted to mold me.
I'm not saying fight the power, I'm saying believe in yourself, not what others tell you that you are and should be. If not, you will never be satisfied and the world would have a very hard time being a better place (It can't do it alone, you know…).
Thursday, October 23, 2008
That feeling
I love that feeling when all of a sudden, everything is not only ok, it's great! It is a feeling that is as if a light really is shining down on you from heaven, happiness overwhelms every pore in the body. This feeling makes you want to sing, yell, laugh and cry from true joy. It is my favorite feeling in the world.
At that moment when the understanding possesses me, that I am in complete control of my life, and I look at all of my problems, own them, then show myself how to get over them; that is when this feeling often hits me.
Many people never experienced this feeling before, or at least not in their adult lives. You are probably thinking that I am crazy to, out of the blue, experience absolute joy and happiness. Well, maybe I am a little bit crazy. Along with my bit of craziness, though, is my knowledge that I create my own reality, and therefore take full responsibility for issues both good and bad in my life. When I own up to the fact that I am in charge of me, life becomes fun, not just something that we are trying to wade through until we die.
To many times I have heard people using the excuse, "I can't do this", but that's not what they really mean, what stands behind that sentence is, "I won't do this". It's too bad. When one realizes that they create their own reality, the word can't completely disappears from their vocabulary…that word, can't, no longer makes any sense whatsoever.
I recommend to everyone that you get yourself this natural euphoric feeling, and take control of your destiny…It's a lot more fun than the difficult lives that most people lead…
At that moment when the understanding possesses me, that I am in complete control of my life, and I look at all of my problems, own them, then show myself how to get over them; that is when this feeling often hits me.
Many people never experienced this feeling before, or at least not in their adult lives. You are probably thinking that I am crazy to, out of the blue, experience absolute joy and happiness. Well, maybe I am a little bit crazy. Along with my bit of craziness, though, is my knowledge that I create my own reality, and therefore take full responsibility for issues both good and bad in my life. When I own up to the fact that I am in charge of me, life becomes fun, not just something that we are trying to wade through until we die.
To many times I have heard people using the excuse, "I can't do this", but that's not what they really mean, what stands behind that sentence is, "I won't do this". It's too bad. When one realizes that they create their own reality, the word can't completely disappears from their vocabulary…that word, can't, no longer makes any sense whatsoever.
I recommend to everyone that you get yourself this natural euphoric feeling, and take control of your destiny…It's a lot more fun than the difficult lives that most people lead…
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
My GOD our GOD
So I'm having a problem.
I love my religion, and I don’t blame religion for this, but at the same time, it has caused me a huge crisis regarding my beliefs.
It is coming upon Sukkot, and for the first time since coming to Israel, I have an excellent opportunity to build a Sukkah and celebrate the Mitzvah (literally: Commandment) of the holiday.
I was stoked, I finally had the opportunity to make the best of this holiday, and I met a friend of mine at the ACE hardware store (yes, the same one as in the States) in order to buy the necessary supplies to build our Sukkah. We went to the lumber section to find the necessary products, and were kindly informed by the salesman that it will cost me about 100 dollars, MINIMUM, just to get the skeleton of the Sukkah paid for. I started to get upset, realizing that in this country, as in the US with Christmas and Easter and Valentines Day, nothing comes for free. I just couldn’t afford it.
I did the sad math, and started to get really depressed. My friend asked me to "entertain him" and go to check the price of a pre-made Sukkah. After a bit, I agreed, and the short price check that we did with them came up to the minimal price of 790 Shekels, about 250 Dollars.
In this country, 250$ is a whole lotta money. I mean A WHOLE LOTTA MONEY. What right does anyone have making me pay so much just to actualize a commandment?
So a miracle did happen, a lot later; and I found wood boards that I could get for free, as trash from the Ikea parking lot. But for me it was only a half miracle cuz I was so mad at the thievery of people just being kind enough to allow me to be to be able to express my love for Judaism.
Then I spoke to Idan, my wonderful husband, off in the military for reserve duty, and normally the last person I would expect to want me to appreciate my spirituality. He explained to me that religion is so much deeper than a couple of idiots who try to make money off religion. I tried to stay angry, as I seriously considered not fasting the one time of the year that I do (Yom Kippur- Day of Atonenment; but he's right. People don’t make religion. GOD makes religion, and it doesn’t matter what the religion is, it is way above us simple human beings to decide what GOD wants.
I'm not perfect. I never will be, but I care, and I know that that is what GOD cares about.
In Judaism we have something called KAVANAH, or meaning,. No person can tell me what I mean. GOD knows what I mean and that is what is important. So all those money makers out there can just suck on a rotten egg, cuz they forgot the real meaning of GOD and religion and KAVANAH.
God, whatever you may be, you know my KAVANAH, and if that’s not good enough, then, there is no point in me being here in the first place.
I want to be a good Jew, but more importantly, I want to be a good person, and if some stupid religion says that my intentions are wrong, well, they will just have to take it up with God, cuz I have a really big feeling that God is so much more that me buying a 1000 Shekel Sukkah, or accepting Jesus, or that Muhammad as what is right.
God is so much better than that, and God (You) only knows how hard it is to love him for who he really is…and I don’t know who you really are, but I do know that its more than a Sukkah or a baptism or a pretentious love. GOD is God, and we are all silly for not getting it.
So God, I have done the best I could to be a decent person this year. If I have not been good, then judge me. Just remember, that I care, and every day of my life, I try to make myself a better person. I don’t care what people think of me, I do
know that I have tried.
If I have done a bad job, I accept it, but if not, then I only ask that you help me to make the best of the lives of everyone I know and to make them experience the positive and loving life that everyone deserves.
Life is wonderful. May we always understand that.
Amen.
Saf
I love my religion, and I don’t blame religion for this, but at the same time, it has caused me a huge crisis regarding my beliefs.
It is coming upon Sukkot, and for the first time since coming to Israel, I have an excellent opportunity to build a Sukkah and celebrate the Mitzvah (literally: Commandment) of the holiday.
I was stoked, I finally had the opportunity to make the best of this holiday, and I met a friend of mine at the ACE hardware store (yes, the same one as in the States) in order to buy the necessary supplies to build our Sukkah. We went to the lumber section to find the necessary products, and were kindly informed by the salesman that it will cost me about 100 dollars, MINIMUM, just to get the skeleton of the Sukkah paid for. I started to get upset, realizing that in this country, as in the US with Christmas and Easter and Valentines Day, nothing comes for free. I just couldn’t afford it.
I did the sad math, and started to get really depressed. My friend asked me to "entertain him" and go to check the price of a pre-made Sukkah. After a bit, I agreed, and the short price check that we did with them came up to the minimal price of 790 Shekels, about 250 Dollars.
In this country, 250$ is a whole lotta money. I mean A WHOLE LOTTA MONEY. What right does anyone have making me pay so much just to actualize a commandment?
So a miracle did happen, a lot later; and I found wood boards that I could get for free, as trash from the Ikea parking lot. But for me it was only a half miracle cuz I was so mad at the thievery of people just being kind enough to allow me to be to be able to express my love for Judaism.
Then I spoke to Idan, my wonderful husband, off in the military for reserve duty, and normally the last person I would expect to want me to appreciate my spirituality. He explained to me that religion is so much deeper than a couple of idiots who try to make money off religion. I tried to stay angry, as I seriously considered not fasting the one time of the year that I do (Yom Kippur- Day of Atonenment; but he's right. People don’t make religion. GOD makes religion, and it doesn’t matter what the religion is, it is way above us simple human beings to decide what GOD wants.
I'm not perfect. I never will be, but I care, and I know that that is what GOD cares about.
In Judaism we have something called KAVANAH, or meaning,. No person can tell me what I mean. GOD knows what I mean and that is what is important. So all those money makers out there can just suck on a rotten egg, cuz they forgot the real meaning of GOD and religion and KAVANAH.
God, whatever you may be, you know my KAVANAH, and if that’s not good enough, then, there is no point in me being here in the first place.
I want to be a good Jew, but more importantly, I want to be a good person, and if some stupid religion says that my intentions are wrong, well, they will just have to take it up with God, cuz I have a really big feeling that God is so much more that me buying a 1000 Shekel Sukkah, or accepting Jesus, or that Muhammad as what is right.
God is so much better than that, and God (You) only knows how hard it is to love him for who he really is…and I don’t know who you really are, but I do know that its more than a Sukkah or a baptism or a pretentious love. GOD is God, and we are all silly for not getting it.
So God, I have done the best I could to be a decent person this year. If I have not been good, then judge me. Just remember, that I care, and every day of my life, I try to make myself a better person. I don’t care what people think of me, I do
know that I have tried.
If I have done a bad job, I accept it, but if not, then I only ask that you help me to make the best of the lives of everyone I know and to make them experience the positive and loving life that everyone deserves.
Life is wonderful. May we always understand that.
Amen.
Saf
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