My GOD our GOD

So I'm having a problem.

I love my religion, and I don’t blame religion for this, but at the same time, it has caused me a huge crisis regarding my beliefs.

It is coming upon Sukkot, and for the first time since coming to Israel, I have an excellent opportunity to build a Sukkah and celebrate the Mitzvah (literally: Commandment) of the holiday.

I was stoked, I finally had the opportunity to make the best of this holiday, and I met a friend of mine at the ACE hardware store (yes, the same one as in the States) in order to buy the necessary supplies to build our Sukkah. We went to the lumber section to find the necessary products, and were kindly informed by the salesman that it will cost me about 100 dollars, MINIMUM, just to get the skeleton of the Sukkah paid for. I started to get upset, realizing that in this country, as in the US with Christmas and Easter and Valentines Day, nothing comes for free. I just couldn’t afford it.

I did the sad math, and started to get really depressed. My friend asked me to "entertain him" and go to check the price of a pre-made Sukkah. After a bit, I agreed, and the short price check that we did with them came up to the minimal price of 790 Shekels, about 250 Dollars.

In this country, 250$ is a whole lotta money. I mean A WHOLE LOTTA MONEY. What right does anyone have making me pay so much just to actualize a commandment?

So a miracle did happen, a lot later; and I found wood boards that I could get for free, as trash from the Ikea parking lot. But for me it was only a half miracle cuz I was so mad at the thievery of people just being kind enough to allow me to be to be able to express my love for Judaism.

Then I spoke to Idan, my wonderful husband, off in the military for reserve duty, and normally the last person I would expect to want me to appreciate my spirituality. He explained to me that religion is so much deeper than a couple of idiots who try to make money off religion. I tried to stay angry, as I seriously considered not fasting the one time of the year that I do (Yom Kippur- Day of Atonenment; but he's right. People don’t make religion. GOD makes religion, and it doesn’t matter what the religion is, it is way above us simple human beings to decide what GOD wants.

I'm not perfect. I never will be, but I care, and I know that that is what GOD cares about.

In Judaism we have something called KAVANAH, or meaning,. No person can tell me what I mean. GOD knows what I mean and that is what is important. So all those money makers out there can just suck on a rotten egg, cuz they forgot the real meaning of GOD and religion and KAVANAH.

God, whatever you may be, you know my KAVANAH, and if that’s not good enough, then, there is no point in me being here in the first place.

I want to be a good Jew, but more importantly, I want to be a good person, and if some stupid religion says that my intentions are wrong, well, they will just have to take it up with God, cuz I have a really big feeling that God is so much more that me buying a 1000 Shekel Sukkah, or accepting Jesus, or that Muhammad as what is right.

God is so much better than that, and God (You) only knows how hard it is to love him for who he really is…and I don’t know who you really are, but I do know that its more than a Sukkah or a baptism or a pretentious love. GOD is God, and we are all silly for not getting it.

So God, I have done the best I could to be a decent person this year. If I have not been good, then judge me. Just remember, that I care, and every day of my life, I try to make myself a better person. I don’t care what people think of me, I do
know that I have tried.

If I have done a bad job, I accept it, but if not, then I only ask that you help me to make the best of the lives of everyone I know and to make them experience the positive and loving life that everyone deserves.

Life is wonderful. May we always understand that.

Amen.

Saf